Funny

-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

-The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

-Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
-Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
-I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.-- Fred Allen
-If you can't convince them, confuse them.-- Harry S. Truman
-My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.-- Buddy Hackett
-Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.-- Jerry Seinfeld
-I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.-- Ronald Reagan