When writing, make sure of what you're saying!

Letters to Landlords

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces

Will you please send someone over to mend our cracked sidewalk?
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.


Letters to government agencies

Dear Sirs, please stop my assistance since I got a job begging in October

I am writing the Welfare Dept. to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?

I cannot get sick pay. I have had 6 children. Can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.

Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

My husband got laid off from his job 2 weeks ago, and I haven’t had any relief since.